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I was sitting at my desk last week when it really struck me that this year is very rapidly coming to a close! I know it is ridiculous, but in a way I was shocked. Once I caught my breath around the new reality, my thoughts quickly moved to Holiday Time. The question I asked myself, and the question I want to ask you, is, what do we want Holiday Time to be? What will be “our story” this year and, perhaps more importantly, who do we – who do I – want to be in that story?
For too many years, I (and I am guessing that I am not alone) allowed the events, other people’s reactions, and/or my circumstances to take me away from my hoped for holiday delight. I confess, sometimes I even let my anticipation of events, reactions, or circumstances to spoil the holiday before it even arrived. How foolish!
I am hoping that I am (and you are) a bit wiser these days. While we know all about being flexible, we also know that establishing purpose and setting good intent can be helpful in turning holidays into almost Hallmark-like occasions.
Many of us are familiar with a coaching model called GROW. It first surfaced in the 1980s out of the United Kingdom, and it quickly became part of the training vernacular. It’s a model that is helpful in planning big life changes and in planning simple occasions, like Thanksgiving dinner! Simply put:
G – Goal
What do I want at the end of this season or event?
R – Realities
What “actually” happens during our holiday; what could be changed; what likely cannot?
O – Opportunities or Options
What choices should I think about in advance; what opportunities do I have to get closer to my goal?
W – Willingness or Way Forward
How can I move forward towards my goal given the opportunities, realities, and my own personal willingness?
To this model, I would add, what is the story I want to hear around the table after the holiday? What do I want the story to say about who I am? How have I behaved? And what I did to ensure the holiday had the kind of meaning that mattered most to me?
We certainly don’t control everyone else’s behaviors. But we do control our own. And when we take time to think about ourselves and plan and practice for the opportunity to be our best self, we won’t be perfect, but chances are we will be happier. And wouldn’t that make for a delightful holiday?
