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I turn the corner and there he is…the office bully.
My heart starts to beat faster. I drive into the parking lot and I see “the” car. The bully is in the office today. My stomach turns. My phone rings and caller I.D. shows that it is her – the bully. I decide not to answer it, postponing the inevitable.
They say that office bullies are on the rise. I wonder if that is true. After all, I have experienced them, know of them, been called to resolve issues because of them ever since I came into the role of a manager.
Jena McGregor wrote in the Washington Post (May 20, 2013) that what we think of as bully behaviors, many leaders see as strong aggressive leadership. If that’s what they think, they aren’t paying attention. Strong, aggressive leadership should drive the team forward. While it’s true that aggressive leadership can make you sweat, it doesn’t usually make you sick.
Bullies are angry, they are mean, and their intent is to make you feel intimidated. They are probably afraid. They focus on power – theirs – and they want you to be anxious, to be thinking about their ability to cause you discomfort.
We remember them – the bullies – every one of them, what they did and said, what we did and what we didn’t say. And most of all, what we wished we had done. And we know that because of bullying we took less risks, we focused on personal safety rather than performance, we disengaged, we quit the job. We lost and so did the place where we worked.
But then, just at the moment I am feeling righteous indignation, I begin to wonder. Have I ever acted as a bully? Have there been times when my need for recognized power overtook my good sense? Have I chosen to intentionally intimidate? Would I recognize it if I did?
It’s something to think about.
