It’s time to make the critical shift from leading the business by yourself to leading an organization of people. At P2Excellence, we help you navigate the uncharted territories of organizational growth with clarity and confidence.
I spent the past week participating in an intensive coach training class. All day long we coached and in turn were coached. And we observed. In my role as observer, I was supposed to be listening for good coaching skills. But I often found myself paying more attention to the way the client partner descried the situation that needed to be resolved and how clearly they told us about their own story – their personal narrative – and how that impacted problem resolution.
I don’t think I realized before how quick we are to telegraph how we see ourselves – our skills and capabilities, our opportunities and our worries. It seemed to me that there were many times that the way they described themselves was somewhat surprising. I found myself wondering, “Is that story, the one you are telling about yourself, is it true?” I don’t mean that in a judgmental or demeaning way. It was just because I was meeting them for the first time and what I “saw” about who they were didn’t match the narrative they told.
It got me thinking. We learn our personal narrative pretty early in life. We are smart or we aren’t. Athletic or not. Pretty or not. Capable or not. Too much or not enough. But then we grow up and if we are lucky (and if we work hard, too) we grow into capabilities we never dreamed of. But if we don’t intentionally change our words, those capabilities will be sub-optimized.
One woman I was with shared that she was “the person in the background, never one to step up or step out.” And then I watched her coach with strength and a forcefulness that was at the same time gentle and forthright. It was easy to see that the story no longer matched the woman she had become. But it was also easy to see that the story she told kept her from achieving the career goals she desired.
Interesting. And leaving me to ponder: What stories do I tell about myself? What words do I use? Do they propel me forward or do they hold me back? Are those stories still true? And more importantly, are they helpful?
Those are my thoughts. I welcome yours.
